The purpose of Islamic Marriage

Zawj" in the Quran is related to a pair or a mate adn its usage refers to marriage. The institution of marriage in Islam, is that both man and woman provide company to each other, love to one another, have children and live in peace and harmony in accordance with the commandments of Allah.

Marriage is a means to emotional and sexual gratification and is also a highly recommended treatment tension reduction. It is also a form of Ibadah because it is obeying Allah and his messenger - i.e. Marriage is seen as the only possible way for the sexes to unite. One could choose to live in sin, but by getting married an individual displays obedience to Allah.

Marriage is "mithaq" - a solemn covenant (agreement) that cannot be taken lightly. Individuals must enter into matrimony with total commitment and complete knowledge of the intricacies. Your partner should be your choice for life. One should be mature enough to understand the demands of marriage so that it lasts for life. There are certain conditions for a marriage to be valid,

1. 1. Consent of both parties.
2. 2. "Mahr" a gift from the groom to his bride.
3. 3. Witnesses - 2 male or female.
4. 4. The marriage should be publicized, it should never be kept secret as it may lead to suspicion and complications within the community.

Is Marriage obligatory ? According to Imams Abu Hanifah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Malik ibn Anas, marriage for certain individuals becomes wajib/obligatory. Imam Shaafii considers it to be nafl or mubah (preferable). If a person, male or female fears that if he/she does not marry they will commit fornication, then marriage becomes "wajib". If a person has strong sexual urges then it becomes "wajib" for that person to marry. Marriage should not be put off or delayed especially if one has the means to do so

. A man should not marry if he or she does not possess the means to maintain his wife and future family, or if he has no sex drive or if dislikes children, or if he feels marriage will seriously affect his religious obligation.

The Prophet (pbuh) has encouraged his followers to marry.

The Prophet (pbuh) has said "when a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." This hadith is narrated by Anas. Islam greatly encourages marriage as it protects and upholds the family unit which Islam places great importance.

Selection of a partner Partner selection should be with the most "taqwa" (piety). The prophet recommends that the suitors see each other before going ahead with marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be forced into marriage and be expected to relate and also be intimate with each other when they know absolutely nothing of the other person. The couple are permitted to look at each other with a critical eye and not a lustful one. This ruling does not contradict the ayah which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.

The couple, however are not permitted to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone. As the hadith says "when a man and a woman are together alone, there is a third presence i.e. shaitan.

There is no concept of courtship in Islam as it is a western practise. There is no dating or living in arrangement or trying each other out before they commit to each other seriously. Physical relationship before marriage to be to strictly abstained from. The romantic notions that young people have, are in most cases unrealistic and harmful to individuals involved. All we have to do is take a an account of the alarming divorce rate in the west to understand this point. Romance and love alone do not make up for an everlasting bond between two people.

Fact: Romance and love die out when it comes to dealing with the hard facts of the real world. The unrealistic expectations of young people often ends in the failure of their relationship. The Islamic way of marriage is often jeered at by the west, especially the concept of arranged marriage, but the irony statistics prove that arranged marriages are more successful and lasting than romantic courtships.

This is because people are blinded by the physical attraction and thus do not choose the compatible partner.

Love blinds people to potential problems that could crop up in a relationship. There is an Arabic saying: "the mirror of love is blind, it makes zucchini into okra". Arranged marriages on the other hand, are based not on physical attraction or romantic notions but rather on critical evaluation of the couple's compatibility.

This is the reason why arranged marraiges are proven to be successful.

Consent of parties There is a halal arranged marriage and a haram one. It is OK to arrange marriages by suggestion and recommendation as long as both parties have agreed. The other arranged marriage is when parents choose the a spouse for their child and the to-be couple are forced or have no say in the decision.

One of the conditions for a valid marriage is the complete consent of the couple.

Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people.

A Muslim virgin girl's choice of her life partner is subject to the approval of the father or guardian under Maliki school. This is done to safeguard her welfare and interests. The prophet said "the widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until she has consented and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is obtained. The prophet did revoke the marriage of a girl who complained to him that her father had married her against her wishes.